Kosher sewing

I have never been one who was closely acquainted with pig's feet, until tonight.   A little scalpel work, some monofilament and I was throwing stitches left and right with my fellow students.

So many things in life that need sutures...lets throw a few stitches into our politics...I am thinking of the lyrics "come together, right now, over me".

But not so fast, you say, think of all the 'dangerous webs we weave'  of bringing pieces together that are better apart, or of staying at our loom, weaving while the world moves by, like the Lady of Shallot, we are lost in the river of our own imaginings of what might be.

How dangerous it is, to be armed with a needle, and thread, and a vision of what should be.

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike

This is a local place to build your own bike from pieces of old ones.  I tried here first before buying my new bike, and I still like the idea....

Mechanical objects have their own logic.  Nobody has to tell you something is right or wrong, it either actually works or it doesn't.  And you like the way it works or you don't.

I love the subjective nature of people (as opposed to mechanical objects), getting the pieces of say, the physical exam to flow smoothly is not just a mechanical feat - it turns out, people are different mechanically - light pressure to one is heavy to another - too heavy, too light...and what are you conveying non-verbally and verbally - this is complex machinery, rewarding to make it run relatively smoothly for all those involved.

So I love to ride my bicycle, whether spinning in the gym, or past the saguaros in this desert - for the sheer mechanical 'this is right'-ness...and the passing hills and houses and cacti are surprisingly un-opionated about my conversation or body-language as I ride by, and that suits me fine, since all I think of is the feel of the road and texture of the air.

Ride in Style

This is Vic...he is a pro cyclist who came along on our Tu Nidito Ride for a Child training ride today.  We covered 25 miles in early morning Tucson fresh air.  We took an easy pace, so even I could keep up on my brother's 20-year old mountain bike.  Vic kept me company for part of the ride and gave some good training tips, as did Jimmy-the ride leader (who grew up with and rides with Lance Armstrong) and Jimmy's dad Johnny who kept my training partner Valisa and I company.

Tu Nidito served us bagels and drinks after the ride and gave us a tour of their lovely facilities.  The rooms are painted in bright colors - jungle scenes, or dreamscapes.  Great spaces for kids and teens who need to grieve, laugh, paint or blow-up in the Volcano room! (padded walls, punching bags).  I am even more impressed with Tu Nidito and so glad to being Riding for A Child in El Tour de Tucson.

Here is the website to donate to the child I am riding for "Landin' and other kids at Tu Nidito who are seriously ill or grieving a seriously ill parent or sibling.   http://tunidito.kintera.org/rideforachild/engel

Training wheels

9 miles today, training on my brother's old red mountain bike.  I wanted to post about 20 pictures from the bright-colored farmer's market, the fountains, tile, the old men playing steel guitar.  I could smell the fresh red peppers tied together drying in the sun.  I wandered through the farm-grown melons and tomatoes, the local honey and found green peppers, fresh then torches lit and oila! roasted!

I wandered to a quieter corner, the french bakery - everyone hugged the french woman who baked the pastries and breads, after tasting them, I wanted to hug her too.

The evening is cool, I have a red sweatshirt on and the white lights remind me of the strings of lights above Clarendon street in Oxford, I would sit on the curb eating ice cream, and the arches of light made it taste better, as did the students and profs riding by on bicycles, flying school colors on the scarves around their necks in the autumn air.

Red in the Studio

The cloudscapes today were....beyond description.  The air was cool and I passed people sitting on porches and curbs, kids getting a haircut outside.  It wasn't a study kind of day, it was a day to be in your eyes, not your head.  The perfect day to visit a lovely artist in her studio and see a tree slowly unfurl across the canvas.

That is my cup of tea (or not)

I am a tea fanatic, truth be told, was one before I lived in England.

I wanted to order peppermint tea in Spain on a visit there. My server had no idea what I was talking about. We discussed in both Spanish and English what I wanted and still, no luck. Finally the server said "do you mean peppermint infusion?".

So the source of our misunderstanding was the precise terminology, you see only the drink made from the leaves of the plant camellia sinensis (the tea plant to you and I) is actually tea, everything else is an infusion.

Sheesh, glad we cleared that up.

Through the window

Outside that window it's getting cooler, below 80 at night, in the mid-90's during the day.

I am a fan of looking out of windows, some of my favorites are train, plane, boat and beach house windows.

Ah, the beach, sometimes the desert feels like an underwater landscape -the cactus are corals.

In a sailboat on rough sea, though, I would rather be at the tiller, splashed with sea and rain water. One time when I was little, we were caught on some rough water and I went down and hid in the bow of the boat, and was afraid of the sounds I heard. It was cold and windy and wet on deck, so not a bad idea at that time. Now, I want to know how to sail that boat, I want to know when to run with the wind and when to tack.

These are my people

I took this picture in an antique shop a few months ago, but it fits with today. Here are a few of the reasons why:

for some reason various people have been discussing past and future Halloween costumes,

my housemates' friend brought her dogs to play with their dog here at la casa de nosotros,

Shabbat dinner with my peeps makes me feel a little like that little dog,

and the best line from watching last night's outdoor movie in downtown Tucson, the original Grapes of Wrath in glorious black and white, is of course Mama's line "We are the people"...

Point of View

Sometimes you stand in one place, but the perspective changes. When I looked through this 'viewfinder' I could see houses on the hills that I had thought were barren. Earlier this weekend, I was surprised to find the Catalina's as green as Ireland (but with different foliage).

Over the past few weeks I feel my perspective shifting in every way, microscopic to telescopic, climbing on a cliff or hiking down a ravine, insider and outsider, anatomy and psychology, histology and patient interviews.

When you look at the stars you feel small and time is large, while studying ants and butterflies just makes our lives seem impossibly long and our bodies enormous. Medicine is both of those views at once...and I am also the stars and the ant and the butterfly.

Catalina

I love the storm passing over the Santa Catalina Mountains...incidentally, this little range is named for St. Catherine of the 'Catherine Wheel" (torture device) fame. Before that unfortunate incident, however, she was known as a scholar. These mountains, named in 1697 seemed to know in advance a university would be nearby...Catherine would be proud.

Even though I don't officially believe in Saints and Angels, I choose to pretend that I do. Much like medieval scholars with their dual maps of the world - the 'True map' with spiritual meaning, and then the one you use to sail or travel by. My maps of the world include what I see and what I enjoy considering....Really, science and medicine is like this, so much of what we are learning are possible maps or belief systems superimposed over the body we know. The missing places or the mythological ones perhaps as important as they well-charted regions.

Humid, hot and cloudy, strange weather, but normal for Tucson.

Put your heart into it

Clearly, all those years of art are coming in handy in med school...

I love drawing, I love anatomy, this was perhaps the most fun study moment today.

I like remembering that our first good anatomists were artists - thank you for bothering to check out the real deal my friends Vesalius, Michelangelo and Da Vinci.

And, by the way, dear artists, thanks for reminding us that all that fabulous anatomy comes together in expressions and gestures.

Callisaurus draconoides rhodostictus - Western Zebra-tailed Lizard

I did not take this picture - this is the only exception to the rule of all images are mine.

So let me explain why I am including this handsome fellow (he is male). I was riding my bike, quickly, along the river bank, when suddenly, beside me, appeared a little dude who looked just like this, and he was keeping up! It was astonishing, he moved like a water skipper across the desert sand and gravel.

He was gleaming white with green and black markings.... like a race car all painted to impress.

Pure exhilaration to ride next to him for a bit and see him fly along on delicate feet.

I think he did it just for kicks.

Power Play

Feeling a little weak? Frightened of what the future (exams) may hold? Why not ride this beauty down the sidewalk, and watch pedestrians run in fear, car drivers slow down and stare in awe.

I took this picture in Boise, Idaho, my home town. Now that you have seen this, you will not be surprised to learn that we have the most women small-business owners per-capita of any state. (reasoning: the little girl that drives this will likely grow up and own her own businesss, she already 'owns her own bizness, $!%@#")

I wish she would pick me up Monday morning and take me to my exam in this vehicle, this would be a recipe for success. (Either that or study, sigh).

Guess it's a long drive on the open road for a small girl in a plastic vehicle to get here from Boise, so I'll go study now.

Poetry In (loco)motion

I like this image because the lights are blurred, as though they are moving...life is really more like this than a focused still shot.

The Sufi's known as 'whirling dervishes' believe that if you can plant one foot in one secure spot, then the rest of the world (and you) can spin and spin without losing your balance.

Med school is a film, not a still life painting. In fact, life just won't ever sit still (that condition is usually known as death)

Where do you plant your toe?...

Whirled Peas

Who knew that one of my classmates and his med school 'Big Bro' would find the solution for peace in the Middle East, possibly the world. Clearly illustrated above is the fact that an Israeli Jew and and Egyptian Muslim have only negligible differences once they both put on matching tiny pink tank tops, black boxers and low-ridin' jeans. Leaders of the world, take note.

In other fashion news, I went roller-blading this afternoon in the park. My housemate received this news with...silence....followed by shock and chagrin and promptly said "who rollerblades?...that is so 90's". Well, I rollerblade. Derby Queens, be kind to me, I am not ready for the hairspray or tattoos just yet, but I do look awesome in knee pads (yeah!).

The heart has ears

In no particular order, some facts:

My housemate is a great cook, see photo to the right for the proof of his fabulous tacos. The way to study is hearing these being made while reviewing some histology and pathology of major organ.

Our enthusiastic guide to the previously-living bodies preserved for our eager viewing told us several interesting facts. I like that the right and left atrium of the heart have ears (auricles). I picture the inner self walking into a glass-domed, plant-filled atrium. In this space, you can hear what only the heart hears, plants growing, the beat of other hearts (this is not just poetic language, put cells from two different hearts in their own test tubes - they keep their own beat, put them next to each other, they assume the same rhythm).

Another fact, my big bookcase is falling apart. The sun is setting orange and purple behind black tree outlines and slivers of rain chipped off of clouds by abundant thunder and lightning.

Annie likes to watch the computer screen.

and I still live Med school.

Even more dangle

This lovely item speaks for itself -worn by an equally lovely Zambian woman. One of the unexpected joys of medical school is meeting people from all over the world. I am inspired by the colors, decorations and stories. My little house will be glad I met these people, so I will bedazzle this space, poco-a-poco.

Speaking of Spanish, what a great little taco shop I discovered this weekend in South Tucson: Taqueria Pico de Gallo. The tacos are the thing to order, with handmade corn tortillas that are about 1/4 inch thick! MMm, you can smell them as you drive up! Not greasy, but baked or roasted, perfect for the desert any time of year.

I used to think I had a good imagination, but all of this proves me wrong. I never thought to have such interesting classmates, such delicious food, dramatic monsoons, (and so many fabulous earrings!)

Zapotec creation

Found this rug at Old Town Artisans in Tucson and love the warm and texture - you can feel the lanolin in the wool fibers still. It will live on the wall in my little place. It should feel at home above the saltillo tile floor.

Small dreams fulfilled are delicious - and the tile floor and rug are just that - like pomegranate seeds in the salad of life!

By the way, buying locally grown Canary melons and putting them next to the same deliciously yellow baby pear tomoatoes is also pure joy.

White lights,old city

Dinner under the stars, courtesy of generous housemates. A cool breeze transforms a hot day to a warm evening.

How do we transform ourselves from awkward med students into the people you trust with your life? Somewhere in our lectures, and first patient histories and physical exams are the seeds.

What will we become if we are more worried about remembering OPQRSTADA*for a patient history then the pain they are presently in, the cancer they may be dying of?

Dinner with friends while the patients I saw today are likely still in the hospital..I hope they had some moments of joy, somehow, today.

*a mnemonic for remembering the type of questions to ask a patient about their illness.

Polydactyl Pollyanna

You don't often think of Pollyanna and Hemingway in the same sentence, but with my kitty you can. She has extra toes on her front feet..Hemingway was particularly fond of cats with this genetic mutation and filled his island in Key West with them.

I have a coat

About 4 years ago I tried to imagine my life 5 years in the future in pure images (no words). I pictured myself putting on white to go to work. I was not planning at that time to go to medical school any time soon. I kept puzzling over why I had pictured myself wearing white and tried to think of what job it was I had seen myself doing.

It seems obvious now. But there were plenty of twists and turns and a great deal of help and inspiration on the way to this white coat.

Pretty in Pink

Pink Oleander and pink Adobe on my bike ride to class this morning. It was overcast today, the air cool after last night's pyrotechnical thunder and lightning show. We worked on our class Mission and Vision, a worthwhile pause for reflection in the dash towards medical knowledge.

Rock climbing at the wall and cooking dinner just rounds out the day, along with my beautiful stethoscope arriving in the mail!

All that we can't leave uneaten

After lecture, yoga. At the end of yoga, a woman singing in sanskrit? seems like a dream. After that, ice cream - lemon ginger and almond... Then home to cook and study and watch lightning storms outside my window. A good day.

Sorted

A little pomp and circumstance goes a long way...whether it is carefully preparing a flaming drink for eager med students, or presenting the faculty mentors one by one, and have them stand in a line of white coats and achievements facing us.

We are told which mentor will be ours for the next four years. We have been sorted.

I think of times in England, the shorter academic robes we had to wear to dine in the hall, standing while the upperclassmen processed to the high table in their full gown.

These rituals set apart a time of life, a part of yourself. I think they are worth it, flaming blue shots and all.

And when all was said and done, and we were sorted into 'Societies', we saw our first patient. She had advice for us "Listen". And if we remember nothing else, I hope we remember her.

What's Up Doc?

First Official day of Med School...Orientation with all 120 of us, alot of hints from 2nd years...a whirlwind of information, which volunteer opportunities?, what research?, which textbooks (if any)?

The picture is the feeling I want to remember, shadowing Daddy-O in the ER -You can see what that is like.

Dangle Envy

These put it all in perspective, after first 'practice' exam, financial aid conversations, climbing at the wall and fabulous Filipino food - these earrings are the icing on a big cake of a day.

You keep me searching for....

A heart of gold.

Restrung on a new gold chain.

My next door neighbor gave it to me when I was three years old, I think she was 4.

A worthy interruption from studying, there were (too) many today. Bicycling 2x to class, trying on the white coat, making food, giving an impromptu demonstration on stonecarving tools.

Hot time in the old town

The white lights above a fountain and pond, St. Francis presiding, at old town artisans last night. Live music, friends and the air cooled by raindrops now and then.

Adrenal hormone synthesis flow diagrams can stop dancing in my head after the med school social and the sounds of a desert evening.

The power of orange adobe

On my ride to class this morning, these shadows on the orange adobe made me stop.

The colors of the sunset tonight look this orange as well.

In-between these two oranges was another day of learning - this time the library! (so many resources) and adrenal hormones (so many enzymes..) and team learning on liver disorders...whew!

Night Fishing deserves a quiet night

Sushi bar at night because I am too tired to drive to grocery store, come home and cook. Met more faculty today, ordered labs on our 'patient in a coma', talked at lunch about the risks/benefits of being married in med school...agreed that someone cooking for you was one of the main benefits...(if you can get the kind of deal). No storm, yet, today.

Little House in the Monsoon

Every afternoon this week, the sky clouds up and, after sunset, we have a torrential downpour, thuner and lightning. It is a fittingly dramatic backdrop for the otherwise sedate opening to medical school, which is, after all, life-changing. We began with proteins and nitrogen, ipads and small groups and the case of an unconscious 20-year old woman.